Life is not fair

Today is my boring day....Haiz... why I don't have any mood? I have no idea at all.
As I know, I just come to work for the seek of work. No interest at all and no motivation at all.
I feel that I am black sheep in this unit. Why I said so... I don't have the specific answer but this is what I feel now.

Sometimes, we spend a lot of time lamenting over how unfair life is and how we got the short end of the stick. We can be stuck in this unproductive conversation for days, weeks, months and even years. Sometimes, we are so bothered by unfairness that we start to complain to others about the short end of the stick and what is has done to us. New staff? Are you trying to be hero too? Please! Do didn't know the politics scenario here. I more worst then Malaysian Politics! The sucking sound is deafening and the illusion is created that we are stuck in this very bad place.

What would be the fun in that? If you want to truly live, move pass the pursuit of fairness and opt for the pursuit of fabulous. Fabulous means that you take a bumpy and imperfect ride, but it can be scenic. Every experience is data you need to make new choices, some big and some small, that take you down different paths, roads and canyons. You meet folks along the way that are contributors, supporters, detractors and extractors. Yeah, but this is office specifically, there is lot of personal competitors.

I remember a point in my life where I truly understood how toxic the pursuit of fairness could be. I've always tried to uphold a high standard of ethics and hard, honest work. I really do like almost everything about my job; the good and the bad; the triumphs and the failures. Many days I find that upon awakening, I must remind myself through affirmation - I love my job, I love my job I love my job...but....life is not fair.

I am at a time in my life where I feel I have suffered enough. I have paid for my mistakes; and then some. Just leave me alone and let me live my life in peace. Stop smirking on me. Stop playing games and please let me walk away with some shred of dignity. Life is not fair. I love most things about life, but - many times I catch myself thinking, "why me?"

When I find myself asking, Why ME? -- I remind myself, "YOU - because Life is not fair." Somehow, this is not the answer I want but its not really possible to get your mouth to shut up. I can't walk away from it. I can't pretend not to hear it. I can't stop associating with it. Because if I could, then maybe Life wouldn't be so unfair after all.

Why I still stuck here. The place was okay but the environment are sucks!
Arghhh, God me help me out from here!